I first posted this in my blog in 2008 and thought y’all might like to know my point of view!

I think one of the “elephants in the room” in my life is my weight and my health.
I think people want to know more but are afraid to ask. I am glad they feel that way because the conversation, if raised, rarely goes well.

So here is what I think you might actually want to know:
AS A BABY I was premature and weighed 3 1/2 pounds, I was very sick and frail as a child, epilepsy, asthma, pneumonia, etc. Both my parents smoked heavily and in fact died from cigarettes.
MY WEIGHT At around 12 I developed a HUGE appetite and became overweight, from skinny to overweight in 2 years. From age 13 until about 35 I dieted, binged, fasted, took courses and therapy in listening to my hunger, anything I could think of, I continued to put on weight. Then I decided I was going to be happy however I was, and I still put on weight. According to my doctor’s records, in 1990, 18 years ago, I weighed 284 pounds, this is the most I have ever weighed. Today I weigh 272 pounds.
EXERCISE I have exercised off and on all my life, I used to swim as a kid (Palm Springs, everybody swims). Stopped exercising in my early 20s. Then in 1984 or so after law school I became enamored with aerobics, even trained to teach aerobics for large women in about 1990 or so…I exercised 2 – 4 times a week, it varied…Posed for a leotard ad for large women, went to an aerobics conference with my teacher, was on tv 4 or 5 times dancing with my teacher and a couple of other people. Was always the “fit” big girl and proud of it. In 2001, my knees started giving me problems and then a couple of years later my hips started to hurt after walking more than 2 or 3 blocks, I have less stamina. I have exercised less since 2001. I still go to the gym most Saturdays, 30 minutes on the bike and workout with the fat girls. I know if I did more it would help, but I seem to be unwilling to make it happen in my life.
MY HEALTH Until a few years ago I was VERY healthy. Great heart, no problems except mobility and then about 18 months ago I had some symptoms that looked like diabetes. I was not surprised because of my weight, age and body type (barrel shape) I am a good candidate for diabetes and other problems. After some tests, I have struggled the last 18 months with pre-diabetes. I have lost about 10 pounds, eat far fewer carbs and more protein and vegetables. I still have a sweet tooth and desserts are my favorite, but I try to be conscious of what I eat. Today the doctor called and I have pushed back my pre-diabetes for the time being. All my tests are normal. I am pleased and he is pleased.
MY LIFE So, yes, I know I am fat, I have lost and gained lots of weight in my life, I am no longer doing that. I try to be friendly with food so it is not a struggle all the time, but it is my biggest foible. I do not know how to lose and keep off weight. The success rate is about 3% after 5 years. So, if you are concerned about my weight or my health, know that I too am concerned and doing all that I can to be healthy, but I will continue to be a human being that is good at some things and bad at others.

April 10, 2008 – 8:34 PM